100--It's about Quantity not Quality

This is my 100th blog post. I didn't know this until Blogger.com told me about 15 seconds ago. I can't say it is special in any way other than that. However,  I guess it's somewhat of a milestone in that I've sat down 100 times to write....something.

I started writing about running. I have realized there's only so much one can write about running. I still write about running, but I venture into other areas, such as the meaning of life, my pets, my kidneys, documentaries...I know that in order to have a solid blog with lots of followers you have to focus on one area--like cooking every recipe in Julia Child's cookbook in a year. I don't do that. Some people make a living off of their blogs but I am for certain I will never do that. I'm not focused enough. I'm also not forward enough to promote my blog.

So why continue to have a blog? I've always liked to write. As a child, I showed almost an abnormal desire and need to write. It's one of the quirkier things about me growing up. As a grown-up, I have plenty of opportunities to write for my job. In fact, I have many published journal articles that detail research studies. However, that's a very different kind of writing. Don't get me wrong--I do enjoy the writing I do for work. Yet, there is something about being to write about whatever I want in whatever format I want that is appealing.

Writing has always come easily to me. I'm not saying I am a fantastic writer. I know many people who write much better than myself. Yet, I often sit down to write and realize (after what seems like only a few moments) that I have compiled pages and pages. Is this quality writing? Sometimes. Even when it's not quality writing, I seem to gain something from it though. It's an enjoyable activity for me, even if my strength is quantity and not always quality.

I started writing at an early age. As a youngster (maybe 5???), I started a series of novels about the Kit Family. The Kit Family was a fictional family with, if I remember correctly, about 9 children. I wrote about their escapades: new school years, the birth of a new family member, buying a new car....I should add that I use the word novel very loosely here. I think each was about 10-12 pages. Yet, it was definitely a series. Not bad for a little kid.

I also remember taking on a collaborator when I was maybe in 2nd or 3rd grade, my friend Jennifer. We were going to write a book together. My dad, who was a good sport, volunteered to take our little book to work to laminate and bind it. I don't remember the topic of this particular book. Jennifer came to spend the night and we planned to work on the book. This was to be a working sleepover. However, she seemed to want to play, have fun, and she didn't seem dedicated to working on the project. I was annoyed by this. I'm sure this was the last time we collaborated. I really didn't have many friends as a child. 

I also remember that I did something odd in the 5th grade. For 15-30 minutes before the bus came to pick us up at the end of the day, we were required to read. Some kids in our class didn't want to read. I was okay with reading. A few of the kids complained and said they didn't want to read. Finally, our teacher snapped, "Read a book or WRITE a book!" There it was. Another option. I could write a book. So I started writing a book. (I actually don't think my teacher meant to give that as an option. I think it was just something he snapped because he was annoyed.)

I remember the book I decided to write. It was about a set of female triplets. Each had a hobby that they really excelled at. One was a softball player. One was a dancer. The other...I have no idea what the other was...it's not important. The "plot" (if you will) was about how they each had a very important activity (a recital, a game, etc.) and all of these activities fell on the same day. The whole book was about how they would negotiate this day. This was before we did everything on a computer. It was about 200 pages front and back, handwritten.

Somewhere along the line (between 8th grade and college, I guess), I stopped writing fiction. Maybe I lost my imagination. I don't have the desire anymore to make up stories. When I write now, I would rather write about observations of real life. I don't know why this changed. I'm not even sure if I'd be able to write fiction at this point. Is that just a product of adulthood? Obviously, other adults write fiction, so I guess maybe it's just an interaction of adulthood and me. Or the evolution of my hobby of writing.

I used to think blogging was incredibly self-indulgent. I would roll my eyes when people would keep a blog to discuss all of the details of their families, what they made for dinner, etc. My thought was generally to question why these individuals thought others cared so much about the details of their lives. First of all, I have to admit that sometimes other people do care. People you went to high school with are curious (even if it is for all the wrong reasons...particularly to prove to themselves they they did better than you  in life even if they are still living in their parents' basement). Your mom cares. She gets frustrated you won't call her back so instead she settles for reading your blog, and she really does care what you made for dinner.

On the other hand, I have to wonder how much of blogging is for others and how much is for the writer. Is blogging just the diary of 2011? (Do teen girls have hand written pink diaries anymore?) Of course, diaries were intended to be private, and blogging isn't private. Were diaries really private though? Didn't our parents read them when we were at summer camp? Mine had a lock but I think I kept the key attached anyway. There is, of course, an aspect of self impression management in blogging. Individuals present themselves in a certain way. It's no different than Facebook. My favorite thing about Facebook is probably analyzing the self impression management process people use before they post things like "LUV my huband (sic)" or "TGIF!!!! Woot! Woot!" (I have been struggling to figure out why everyone needs to use Woot! Woot! as an expression of enthusiasm recently. I'm also not sure why the hell it annoys me so damn much.) Then again, I was a psych major as an undergrad. If only I had know this would serve me so well.

So 100 blog entries. Woot! Woot!

Docu Docu Documentaries...

I have decided that I should make a list of documentaries that I would like to see this summer. Here is my list, in no particular order:

1. Something Within Me
2. Paper Clips
3. Confessions of a Superhero
4. Beyond Belief
5. Steal a Pencil for Me
6. Kicking It
7. Fall From Grace
8. Maxed Out
9. Close Encounters
10. Deadline
11. Killer at Large
12. More Than a Game
13. Food, Inc.
14. Stress: Portrait of a Killer
15. The September Issue
16. Tying the Knot
17. Nursery University
18. Omar & Pete
19. American Meth
20. The Parking Lot Movie
21. Freakonomics
22. Young at Heart
23. Training Rules
24. Shakespeare Behind Bars
25. The Hobart Shakespeareans
26. Lake of Fire
27. Go Further

So that's it...Some seem more appealing than others, but I know from experience that a documentary that sounds really boring can be amazing. If you know of some that I may not be aware of, let me know. I feel like I have seen more documentaries than the average person, but there are so many out there that I haven't seen or even heard of. It is my hope that I can discover a few gems that I can recommend to others. I can get all of the ones listed above through Netflix, and many of them can even be livestreamed.

I should note my favorite documentaries: Murderball, Mad Hot Ballroom, Pressure Cooker...I know I am forgetting a few great ones. I have been thinking about why I like documentaries so much. I think it is at least partially because I don't like wasting time. Watching a "non-fiction" movie just seems like less of a waste of my time than a "fiction" movie. I am not saying that fiction movies ARE a waste of time. In fact, I wish I could sit and watch them a few nights a week to relax like many people I know. For some reason, I feel guilty for watching them. It's ridiculous, I know. Something that's enjoyable should not be considered a waste of time because I don't see it as productive. There is something about documentaries that makes me feel more productive because I may learn more by watching them. I have tried to get over this way of thinking for years, but I just can't. Granted, I watch a lot of reality TV that is a complete waste of time, so I am not telling you that I don't waste time--Trust me, I waste plenty of time. Just ask my husband.

I am trying to get myself motivated to run today. I'm not feeling too much motivation, to be honest. It's raining on and off. It looks like it might storm, so I'm not sure if I will be running outside, inside...maybe riding the spin bike. We shall see. Happy Memorial Day weekend!

Documentaries, ESPN Classic, Health Care Systems, and Running Murphy (How are these things all related?)

It's Saturday evening and I am watching Hoop Dreams. I've seen parts of it before but never sat down to watch the whole thing. The movie is from 1994. It's hard to believe it's 17 years old. (For some reason, I had to use the calculator feature to confirm this was correct. It just didn't seem right.) It came out when I was 17--and yes, I used the calculator to confirm this as well. (I have a PhD minor in stats but don't do math in my head.) Now I am feeling old...I remember the discussion of Hoop Dreams when it first came out. I happened to find it on ESPN Classic, which is one of my favorite channels. If you know me, you probably know that Hoop Dreams is right up my alley. I like sports stories, and I love documentaries. Hoop Dreams is well-done, although maybe a bit long.

Lately, I have been into the 30 for 30 series on ESPN. If you know why it's called 30 for 30, please let me know. I really can't figure it out. I think there are 30--but 30 for 30???? Is it because it's over the last 30 years? The series documents sports stories with a human side. One of my favorites is on Marcus Dupree--a football player who had a lot of potential but never really made it. I've also watched one on the friendship between Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova. There's a great one on Vlade Divac and the split up of Yugoslavia. I saw one on Terry Fox, a Canadian who tried to run across the country after losing a leg to cancer. They are really well-done. I recommend them even if you aren't really into sports. I know you can order a box set of the DVDs at the website. If you are into buying DVDs, which I am not, it would be a good purchase.


I have decided I need to indulge my love of documentaries this summer. I talk all the time about how I don't know what to do with myself when I am not working 60 hours a week. I need to figure out what I enjoy doing...sometimes I think I really don't know. Well, I enjoy watching documentaries. Netflix has a great selection so I need to get on that. Today I watched a Frontline documentary called Sick Around the World. It compares the US health system to those in Great Britain, Germany, Japan, Taiwan, and Switzerland. (Is this really what I consider to be fun? Yes, I think so.)


Anyway, I learned quite a bit. For instance, Switzerland didn't allow women to vote until 1971. This really shocked me. For some reason, I thought Switzerland was on the cutting edge of gender equality. They also refuse to join the European Union, which I don't think I knew. Of course, this isn't really about their health care system--just a side note. I did learn that in Japan it costs about $4.50 (US dollars) to have a doctor stitch up a small wound. And that no one in Germany or Japan has ever gone broke from medical bills. Interestingly, Taiwan went from a poor to rich country in about 20 years. They have to revamp their health care system and did so based on research they did regarding the systems of other countries. They tried to take the best aspects of other countries' health care systems. Furthermore, the US ranks 37th in health care quality--according to this documentary. I would like to know exactly how this was measured. In general, health care in the countries discussed is perceived more positively by its residents than we perceive our health care system. Of course, our health care system is among the most expensive.

The documentary also discussed the role of gatekeepers, or individuals who decide if you should go to a specialist. I found this interesting because typically I must go to a gatekeeper (or my primary physician) who can refer me to a specialist. However, my recent two visits to Mayo Clinic in Rochester were not the result of a referral. Apparently, you can just call Mayo and get an appointment--which is covered by my insurance. I don't understand that, but I might not have ended up at Mayo if that were not the case.

My latest visit to Mayo was on Thursday. In short, it involved a catheterization that made me think I was peeing razor blades for two days, a long boring test that required me to stare at the ceiling for an hour and a half, and no real conclusive test results. The doctor isn't really sure what is causing my kidney pain. They recommend another test that would see if I have a reflux issue (sort of like acid reflux but with urine instead). So I don't know what to think....and I don't feel like thinking about it right now, especially since I'm not hurting too much today.

I should add that I am impressed with Mayo in Rochester and would recommend it. The facility itself is beautiful. It's clean. The place is huge, so I have no idea how they keep it so clean. Everything is well-organized. Employees are courteous. Doctors have good bedside manner. Bill didn't like that we had to pay to park, but that's about the only complaint. My doctor was running late, but I guess that's to be expected for a late afternoon appointment. Fortunately, they have wireless internet. I can tell there is a focus on "customer service" at Mayo. They make an effort to call patients Mr. or Mrs., for instance. I understand that this is an effort to show respect to patients, although personally I hate it. I don't mean to be nit-picky, but you can call me Elaine or Dr. Eshbaugh, not Mrs. Eshbaugh. Mrs. Eshbaugh implies that there is a Mr. Eshbaugh married to me, which there isn't. I am perfectly fine being called by my first name, but I guess my thought is that if you are going to call me bv a title, it should be the correct title. Even Ms. would be better than Mrs.

In other news, Murphy and I went for a run today. I left my GPS at home, so I'm not sure exactly how far we went, but I would guess about 5 miles. Maybe a little more. I felt good. I did have a lot of caffeine before I went, and I think that helps--although I'm not sure how much of that effect is physical versus mental. I could tell Murphy was a bit tired by the end of the run. It was only about 70 degrees, and he wasn't panting, but I just haven't had him out running much lately. I need to get him out more. He's a high energy dog who needs to run off some of that anxiousness. The better he sleeps at night, the better we sleep at night.

I was proud of him today because another dog on the trail went nuts when he saw Murphy. Murphy just kept running--didn't even look at the dog. It's funny because sometimes he can be so reactive, but when he's running with me, he's so focused. It's actually when he is the most well-behaved. My goal is to get him running more this summer, even if that means I have to go early morning or late evening when it's not as hot. (Dogs don't sweat, so I am careful about him overheating when we run.) A couple of years ago, I had an odd incident with a strange guy out on our trails, so it's good to have Murphy along. He's only 30 pounds, but in general no one really messes with you when you've got a dog with you, even if he's not a big dog.

Yard Pictures

While my mom was visiting a few weeks ago, she was nice enough to go out and buy some plants and flowers for the yard. After she went home, I got the stuff planted, and she requested some photos, so here they are. This year we are once again trying a herb garden. We don't have any vegetables--Karl has proved to us that this isn't a worthwhile venture because he eats them just as they ripen. He loves tomatoes, especially.

I should also take a picture of the front of the house to post. I've done some work out there. While Bill was teaching the other night, I actually yanked two trees out of the ground. (It's amazing how strong I am when I REALLY want to do something.) Today I added some red mulch out front. It's still a chaotic mess, but it looks a little more under control.

The hanging baskets Mom bought for us.

Excuse the dead grass. That's where I had the kiddie pool last year. (I would sit in it at night and drink wine--Bill rarely joined the fun.)

Here is the little herb garden.

Flower box on the back of the garage.

Hedgie the hedgehog (right), and Harris the toad (left)

Rain rain rain

It just started raining here. And I don't think it will stop for quite some time. On the news, they said to expect wet weather from Friday to Wednesday. My flowers and plants needed the rain today, and I'm actually sort of enjoying it.

I go back to Mayo on Thursday for a test called a MAG 3. The test is in the morning. I will meet with the doctor to go over the results in the afternoon. Bill is going with me, and he's not yet been up to Mayo. I am hoping the test won't take long and we can find a fun place to eat lunch. From what I know about the MAG 3, it won't be very much fun, but I'm glad I have it scheduled. We will just leave really early on Thursday instead of spending the night in Rochester.

In other news, I taught 5:40 a.m. aerobics today. I had to teach another aerobics class at 8 a.m., so I walked for over an hour between classes. Bill went with me. It was fun to have him there, and I think my "regulars" in the 8 a.m. class enjoyed meeting him. I don't think he's been to one of my fitness classes since I've taught at the CF Rec. Needless to say, we took naps when we got home.

I thought a bonus of having to teach that early would be see the sunrise. However, it was actually TOO EARLY to see the sunrise. I guess I have no idea what time the sun actually comes up. I always thought as I got older I would turn into more of a morning person, but it hasn't happened yet.

In other news, I got about 3-4 inches cut off my hair last weekend. It's still longer than my chin, and I can still pull it back into a little ponytail if I wear a headband. I have some side bangs and lots of layers. I like to be able to pull my hair back, but it does look better shorter rather than longer. I have been getting my hair cut at Kate's On Main in Cedar Falls. I started going there for one reason--you can book your appointment online. For some reason, I hate calling places to make appointments (doctors, dentists, auto repairs shops, hair stylists, etc.) and always put it off. So making appointments online is right up my alley. It is also by Scratch Cupcake Bakery, which Bill and I recently discovered and have become obsessed with. We've only been there twice, but we talk about going quite a bit. I stopped in one Friday night and they had run out of cupcakes. I am told that this is a common occurrence.

I am still teaching my Alzheimer's course online. We are halfway done already (it's only a 4 week course). After this session, I will teach Psych of Aging online. Bill is teaching two classes this summer, but his are face to face. I am fortunate to be able to teach in the summer and also do some advising for summer orientation--which starts in June. Of course, it brings in some extra money, but more than that, I don't know what I would do with myself if I wasn't working at all. This summer I am also working on a research project with two students and another faculty member.

Well, that's all. Enjoy the rain.

Online teaching, Mayo (not meaning mayonnaise), and Murphy's Bunny

Commencement (and Michelle Obama, our guest speaker) has come and gone. Final grades are submitted. I had a fun visit with my mom last week, and she flew home on Thursday. I started teaching a summer course online last week. The class I am teaching right now is one of my favorites: Families, Alzheimer's and Related Dementias. Really, it should be one of my favorite courses to teach because I created it. It's the only real course I've had the privilege of creating since I've been at UNI. I hope I get the opportunity to do more.

As for teaching online rather than face to face...It's a good change in the summer and makes my schedule more flexible. I like it because I don't have to stare at students in a warm classroom all summer, but I also do miss the student contact to some extent. I also feel like there are some things that you just can't convey online. However, it's what students want in the summer. I will say that it is difficult for students to maintain motivation in online courses, especially in the summer. I don't get to know students as well when I have them in online courses. This is not always a good thing for them--especially when they want letters of recommendation. Also, students tend to underestimate how much effort and time an online course takes. It's usually more reading than a classroom course. In my online courses, students really have to focus on reading and retaining material because I am not standing in front of them a few times a week to emphasize important points. 

Last week I visited the Mayo Clinic-Rochester to see a urologist about what I thought was a kidney stone issue. Apparently, my pain (which is still mild to moderate) is not caused by a very small kidney stone that I do have. It's caused by something else. Their best guess is that it's caused by scar tissue (ureteral stricture) and I will go up for a test called a MAG 3 to see if they can learn more. A MAG 3 is a test where they hook you up to an IV to put some dye in your system and watch your kidneys function. I need to call tomorrow to schedule that. I am fortunate that Mayo is so close. It's about 2 1/2 hours away. My perception of Mayo after my first visit is that they are very efficient and have their act together--particularly when it comes to labs, etc. I would recommend them highly. I hope I continue to have a good experience.The bad news is that if this is a scar tissue issue, the treatment options are not so appealing, so I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I've taken over teaching another aerobics course, so now I am scheduled to teach at the rec every weekday except for Tuesday. It's an extra about $240 a month, and it's money for working out, so no complaints there. I am getting called to sub quite a bit as well. For instance, I am teaching a kickbox Friday morning at 5:30. I could live without teaching at 5:30 in the morning, but I am helping out a friend. And I know I'll be glad I taught the class once it's over!

I need to get myself registered for a few summer races but feel like I need to wait until I know more about the kidney situation. I haven't run in several days. I need to get back in gear. As the weather gets nicer (and less windy), it will be easier for me to get in the groove of running. I don't really have the kidney pain when I run but I do feel it later. I have realized that the more liquids I drink, the more it hurts. Although I haven't been running as much as I would like, I have been keeping my fitness level up because I am teaching enough aerobics classes. It's not the same though. I need to get back into a more regular running habit.

Our beagle mix Murphy is very proud of himself for killing a rabbit and presenting it on the back porch yesterday. As disgusting as this was, I was just a little bit proud of him for accomplishing his goal (although I certainly don't share his motivation for killing rabbits) and I did feel loved that he would bring it to us--since it was his prize, of course. However, Bill shattered his glory by trashing the rabbit. I am glad Bill grabbed the rabbit and threw it away. I might have had trouble doing that. Anyway, Murphy was pretty disappointed to see that rabbit leave the porch. I almost felt badly for him. Poor Murphy.

Happy May Day

Another April is gone, and another finals week begins. Commencement is a week from yesterday, and (if you haven't heard) Michelle Obama will be speaking at the graduation ceremony at UNI. Controversy surrounds the decision to host her, but the day should be exciting--and somewhat stressful for those of us who are on the commencement committee.

The bad news is that I am still struggling with the kidney stone. The good news is that I have an appointment at Mayo in Rochester on May 10. Without going into detail--and boring folks with my negativity--I have low grade pain much of the time but fortunately it rarely becomes intense. In the few months since this started, I am grateful that the pain hasn't gotten worse overall. It's just discouraging that it continues. I've only missed a couple of days of work, and I am still able to run and work out most days. It could be much worse! The only thing that sucks is that it's been a few months!

I ran a 5k yesterday. It wasn't a fast race at all for me. However, it was mostly college students since it was on campus. After the race, I look around and thought for sure I won my age group because there were so few people over the age of 23--but then I learned the age groups--which were 18 and under, 19 to 40, and 41 and up. I went from first in my age group to probably the slowest 10%! Anyway, it felt good to run a race. I would like to register for a few more (longer ones!) but I hesitate because I don't know what the kidney stone has in the store for me. I will probably put some on my calendar tentatively but not register.

I went to Iowa City today to have lunch with my dad and his wife. After that, I stopped over to see my friend Erin and her husband Cory. It was a fun day and good for me to get out and do something rather than sit around on a Sunday.

On to finals week and graduation!